I want to share my personal experience in managing my condition besides medications and a good daily routine. In the early days, I would spend sleepless nights listening to the incessant beat sounds akin to loud music played in a pub or club, ringing in my ears. I would debate, negotiate, cry my eyes out, pleading with the sounds and voices to stop so I can sleep.

There are times I would stay up all night staring at the ceiling while hugging my plushie. It can be very distressing to be unable to fall asleep and ruminating on horrible or poor thoughts, whether I will survive tomorrow or go crazy in the future. I have tried using lavender oil, but it is not useful. I often have nightmares throughout the past decade due to my past trauma and negative symptoms of my condition. I still have nightmares off and on till today, but they are not that disturbing and do not bother me now. There are times when my thoughts run wild, making it difficult to focus on my activities and routine. Breathing exercises do help a lot, but I am not disciplined or consistent enough to practise diligently.

For up to 7 years, I have been listening to some of my favourite songs on loop daily. The mental pain was excruciating back then. Listening to these songs helped me go through the darkest time of my life. If I do not listen to them, my thoughts would be very messy and loud. I would end up being very irritated. Although it was pure torture listening to them for hours on end, I had no choice. It helped to keep my sanity while I struggled to survive.

Presently, my all-time favourite feel-good song is “Dancing In The Moonlight” by Toploader. I listen to it on most days. It is a warm and beautiful song, giving a wonderful feel. Basically, listening to it makes me feel very light and happy. It gives off a pleasant ambience after every listen. However, if you like listening to hymns, you may search for Phil Wickham’s songs on YouTube. I particularly love this song as it puts my mind and heart at ease.

A couple of years ago, I came across a YouTube video that I now treat as a prized possession. Although it is a “Guided Meditation for Panic & Anxiety” video, I personally find it very useful and calming each time I listen to it. The guided steps mentioned in the video greatly reassure me that all is fine and that I am safe. It makes me feel at ease and calms me down. I find myself falling into a deep sleep while listening to it. I leave the video on loop throughout the night till I wake up the next morning. This is the only video that helps me fall asleep daily without fail. You may try it out and see if it works for you. Here is the link for your reference, if you are interested.

Another YouTube account that I find helpful is “Jason Stephenson’s guided meditation”. His videos are more towards visualisation, easing pain and anxiety. His voice is very calming and reassuring. It helps me fall asleep easily, but these days, I find Swamy G’s videos more suited to my preference.

At the end of the day, it is about having the right tools that can help ease the negative symptoms, and provide us the strength to face the challenges along the journey. I sincerely hope these videos serve as a guide and give you the help you need, warriors.