During the time when I was unmedicated, I had thoughts of skipping my medications several times. I had strong thoughts of hiding my antipsychotics under my tongue, wrapping them in the tissue paper, hiding them away as I had suspicions of the medications. Initially, I thought that the antipsychotics would render me in a dazed condition and would not be helpful as I could not even function well.

I also had thoughts that someone may have tampered with the contents of my supplements and got highly suspicious when I get tired or listless after consuming magnesium glycinate. I knew that it would make me sleepy but I was really struggling with the level of energy that I had after taking it after lunch since I had to exercise. After a while, I learned that it was better taken after dinner for better sleep at night.

The negative symptoms of schizophrenia made me highly suspicious and skeptical. Although they were just thoughts, I feel the discomfort of having such thoughts particularly when my mother, my caretaker has always been on my side and caring for me with patience and much discipline. If not because of my mother, I would not be regularly taking my antipsychotics.

However, after I healed, I noticed that the antipsychotics helped me a lot in many ways. I had a relapse again after that, and from then on, I knew I could not miss taking my antipsychotics daily. I had a daily routine of taking my medications on time. I even set alarm at 8.15pm – 8.30pm. I noticed that my negative symptoms are much worse during 7.30pm onwards. I once talked to my psychiatrist about it and he explained it to me that it could probably be that the antipsychotics are wearing off its efficacy towards late evening.

Based on personal experience, it is highly suggested that you take your antipsychotics daily at the same time. It will help you in the long term. The idea of the medications is not to completely eradicate the voices but to enable the schizo warriors to function and do their daily activities as much as they can.

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